Tagarchief: Gelukstip

15 Keuzes waar je meteen gelukkig van wordt

Op mindbodygreen.com staan deze praktische 15 tips die je helpen om meteen gelukkig te zijn.

15 Little Choices That Will Make You Happy Now

There’s a science to being happy, and it’s not as complicated as we sometimes think. According to research from happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky, only about 10 percent of our happiness comes from external circumstances (where we live, how much money we earn, etc.). We get another 50 percent of our happiness from our genes. And 40 percent is within our control. It comes directly from the choices we make.

Science now tells us that the lifestyle portion of our happiness is the only part that’s within our control, and we can optimize it by making tiny changes in how we live. Here are 15 scientifically proven suggestions for where to start.

1. Stop “hanging out” and commit.

Being in a committed relationship makes you happier than being single.

2. Go dancing.

Moving to upbeat music releases chemicals that will boost your mood.

3. Be a good Samaritan.

As it turns out, money can buy happiness — if you use it to help others.

4. Make every day Thanksgiving.

Expressing gratitude for what you have does wonders for your overall well-being.

5. Hug it out.

Touch is huge for happiness! Hugging your children makes them better-adjusted adults, and you benefit from it, too.

6. Bring home fresh flowers.

The aroma of flowers can spike those mood-improving chemicals almost instantly.

7. Sit down and shut up.

No surprise here. Daily meditation super-sizes satisfaction from the inside out.

8. Do some burpees.

Intense exercise releases endorphins, a major factor in feelings of well-being.

9. Take the hourly job over a salary.

Hourly employees are statistically happier than salaried employees.

10. Hit the snooze button six times.

An additional hour of sleep each night increases life satisfaction significantly.

11. Become a master.

Evidently, when you work to master a skill, you become happier in the long term.

12. Stop dressing like a New Yorker.

Wearing all black actually has a negative effect on your state of mind. Start wearing brighter colors, especially yellow.

13. Invest in experiences rather than things.

Deciding between a new speaker system and a vacation? Statistics showgoing on vacation will give you greater life satisfaction over time.

14. Live with passion.

Identifying and sharing your life’s purpose is one of the keys to sustaining happiness into old age.

15. Sign up for that timeshare in Hawaii.

Spending time in warm-weather climates reduces stress levels and boosts happiness. Color me surprised.

Bron: Klik hier

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10 Slechte gewoonten van chronisch ongelukkige mensen

In dit artikel uit de Huffington Post een overzicht van 10 slechte gewoonten, waar we ons allemaal wel eens schuldig aan maken ;-), die ons als we niet oppassen chronisch ongelukkig maken.

10 Troubling Habits of Chronically Unhappy People

Happiness comes in so many different forms that it can be hard to define. Unhappiness, on the other hand, is easy to identify; you know it when you see it, and you definitely know when it’s taken ahold of you.

Unhappiness is lethal to everyone around you, just like second-hand smoke. The famous Terman Study from Stanford followed subjects for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people is linked to poorer health and a shorter life span.

Happiness has much less to do with life circumstances than you might think. A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only a smidge happier than the average Joes and Janes who work for them.

Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control–the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Psychologists from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50% of a person’s happiness. The rest is up to you.

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

Unhappy Habits

When people are unhappy, it’s much more difficult to be around them, let alone work with them. Unhappiness drives people away, creating a vicious cycle that holds you back from achieving everything that you’re capable of.

Unhappiness can catch you by surprise. So much of your happiness is determined by your habits (in thought and deed) that you have to monitor them closely to make certain that they don’t drag you down into the abyss.

Some habits lead to unhappiness more than others do. You should be especially wary of the ten habits that follow as they are the worst offenders. Watch yourself carefully to make certain that these habits are not your own.

Waiting for the future. Telling yourself, “I’ll be happy when …” is one of the easiest unhappy habits to fall into. How you end the statement doesn’t really matter (it might be a promotion, more pay, or a new relationship) because it puts too much emphasis on circumstances, and improved circumstances don’t lead to
happiness. Don’t spend your time waiting for something that’s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead focus on being happy right now, in the present moment, because there’s no guarantee of the future.

Spending too much time and effort acquiring “things.” People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial circumstances improve, but it drops off quickly above $20,000 in annual income. There’s an ocean of research that shows that material things don’t make you happy. When you make a habit of chasing things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you’ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family, and hobbies.

Staying home. When you feel unhappy, it’s tempting to avoid other people. This is a huge mistake as socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but understand that the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood. Recognize when unhappiness is making you antisocial, force yourself to get out there and mingle, and you’ll notice the difference right away.

Seeing yourself as a victim. Unhappy people tend to operate from the default position that life is both hard and out of their control. In other words, “Life is out to get me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” The problem with that philosophy is that it fosters a feeling of helplessness, and people who feel helpless aren’t likely to take action to make things better. While everyone is certainly entitled to feel down every once in a while, it’s important to recognize when you’re letting this affect your outlook on life. You’re not the only person that bad things happen to, and you do have control over your future as long as you’re willing to take action.

Pessimism. Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, beyond it being hard on your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect bad things, you’re more likely to get bad things. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you’ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.

Complaining.
Complaining itself is troubling as well as the attitude that precedes it. Complaining is a self-reinforcing behavior. By constantly talking–and therefore thinking–about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. While talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, there’s a fine line between complaining being therapeutic and it fueling unhappiness. Beyond making you unhappy, complaining drives other people away.

Blowing things out of proportion. Bad things happen to everybody. The difference is that happy people see them for what they are–a temporary bummer–whereas unhappy people see anything negative as further evidence that life is out to get them. A happy person is upset if they have a fender bender on the way to work, but they keep things in perspective: “What a hassle, but at least it wasn’t more serious.” An unhappy person, on the other hand, uses it as proof that the day, the week, the month, maybe even their whole life, is doomed.

Sweeping problems under the rug. Happy people are accountable for their actions. When they make a mistake, they own it. Unhappy people, on the other hand, find problems and mistakes to be threatening, so they try to hide them. Problems tend to get bigger when they’re ignored. The more you don’t do anything about a problem, the more it starts to feel as though you can’t do anything about it, and then you’re right back to feeling like a victim.

Not improving. Because unhappy people are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change.

Trying to keep up with the Joneses. Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you’re constantly comparing yourself with others, it’s time to stop. In one study, most subjects said that they’d be okay with making less money, but only if everybody else did too. Be wary of this kind of thinking as it won’t make you happy and, more often than not, has the opposite effect.

Bringing It All Together

Changing your habits in the name of greater happiness is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. But it’s also important for another reason–taking control of your happiness makes everyone around you happier too.

 

Bron: Klik hier

De 6 sleutels tot meer geluk en succes

Op de site van Business Insider (uk.businessinsider.com) staat onderstaand artikel met een beschrijving van 6 sleutels tot meer geluk en succes.

A Stanford psychologist says these 6 things are the keys to happiness and success

If you want to be successful, you should work as hard as possible and suffer, right? Or so we’re told.

But that notion is completely wrong, according to psychologist Emma Seppala, science director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University.

As Seppala explains in her new book “The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success,” being successful and being happy are not mutually exclusive.

“We have this misconception that in order to be successful, we have to postpone or sacrifice our happiness now,” Seppala told Business Insider.

Seppala has scoured the research and identified six things that she says are key to being happy and successful:

1. Live in the moment

jumpingBusiness Insider

In today’s working world, we’re encouraged to work nonstop in order to stay on top of everything. We’re also constantly checking things off our to-do lists. But research suggests that when we’re focused on the present, we’re much more productive and more charismatic.

The Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes the experience of being intensely focused on something while enjoying what you’re doing as the “flow” state. His research suggests that whether you’re an Olympic athlete or a mathematician, you are at your best when you’re in flow.

2. Be resilient

When we’re constantly working ourselves to the bone and feeling stressed, it activates our sympathetic nervous system, also known as the “fight or flight” response. Studies show that while short-term stress can be good for you, long-term stress is terrible for your health.

But if we can train ourselves to be more resilient to the setbacks in our lives, we’re more likely to bounce back from them, a 2004 study suggests. The study found that resilient people were able to recover faster (as measured by their heart rate and blood pressure) when they used positive emotions to respond to a stressful experience.

3. Keep calm (and carry on)

don draper meditation mad menAMC

When you’re constantly in overdrive, it can lead to burnout, which as much as half of the American workforce experiences, Seppala said. But if you take time to be calm, it can help you manage your energy.

In 2014, Seppala and her colleagues conducted a small study of 21 veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Half of them were assigned to do breathing meditation, and the other half received no intervention. The group that did the meditation reported lower PTSD symptoms and anxiety a month and even a year later.

Seppala told us that breathing exercises are an “absolutely critical” part of her own life, too.

4. Do more of nothing

In Western society, we have this ingrained notion that we need to constantly be doing something, or we’re not being productive. But in fact, research suggests that we are most creative when we’re not at our peak alertness.

In one 2011 study, researchers gave 428 students questionnaires to determine whether they were a morning person or an evening person, and then gave them logic problems in either the morning or late afternoon. Surprisingly, they found that morning people scored highest in the late afternoon, whereas evening people scored highest in the morning.

The findings suggest that we’re at our mental best when we’re not especially alert or focused. So if we want to be creative, we need to give ourselves more time off.

Even in our leisure time, we tend to go full bore. In surveys, when Americans are asked to define happiness, they often use words like excitement, elation, and thrill, whereas people in East Asian countries use words like peacefulness, serenity, and calm.

Seppala recommends building downtime into your workday by alternating high-intensity activities like preparing a presentation or attending a board meeting with low-intensity tasks like organizing your desk or files. And when possible, it’s a good idea to “unplug” from work completely, she said.

5. Be good to yourself

hurdles fallREUTERS/Phil Noble

We tend to assume that because we’re good at some things and bad at others, we should stick to our strengths. But that’s a fallacy, Seppala said.

Research suggests that a fear of failure can lead you to choke up, make you more likely to give up, lead to poor decisions such as cheating on tests or making questionable investments. It may also make it harder to pursue the career you want.

Instead, Seppala said, you should be kind to yourself, remember that everyone makes mistakes, and observe your negative thoughts from a distance without letting yourself really dwell on them.

6. Be compassionate to others

Finally, we often assume that we should be looking out for ourselves first and foremost. But in fact, research suggests that you’re better off nurturing supportive relationships with others. If you have good relationships with your boss, colleagues, or employees, you’re more likely to inspire loyalty, which in turn makes everyone more productive, Seppala said.

And you can actually train yourself to be compassionate, Seppala and her colleagues have found. People who underwent a nine-session training program at Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education had lower stress, were more empathetic, were more likely to help others, and were more resilient to the suffering of others.

“If you have supportive relationships with others, you end up doing well in the long run,” Seppala said.

Vermijd deze 10 dingen voor een gelukkig(er) leven

In het kader van de goede voornemens voor 2016 een artikel over 10 dingen die je nu nog kunt veranderen om er later geen spijt van te krijgen …

Ten things we’ll regret ten years later

“If only…” These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

We found ten choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret. This is how you can elude them.

1. Wearing a mask to impress others

If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgements of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.

3. Keeping negative company

Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4. Being selfish and egotistical

A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

5. Avoiding change and growth

If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success.

6. Giving up when the going gets tough

There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.

7. Trying to micromanage every little thing

Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots.

8. Settling for less than you deserve

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before. Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again. Don’t settle.

9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow

The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do. But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

10. Being lazy and wishy-washy

The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something. So stop daydreaming and start DOING. Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Take full responsibility for your life — take control. You are important and you are needed. It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

Bron: Brightside.me

Schrijf je eigen 10 geboden voor meer geluk

Lees hier het artikel van Gretchen Rubin, best-seller auteur van o.a. The Happiness Project, over hoe je gelukkiger kunt worden door je eigen 10 geboden op te stellen (en er ook naar te leven natuurlijk ;-).

To Be Happier, Write Your Own Set of Personal Commandments.

One of the most challenging—and most helpful and fun—tasks that I’ve done as part of my Happiness Project is to write myTwelve Personal Commandments. These aren’t specific resolutions, like make my bed, but the overarching principles by which I try to live my life.

It took me several months to come up with this list, and it has been very useful for me to have them identified clearly in my mind. It’s a creative way of distilling core values.

To get you started as you think about your own commandments, here are my Twelve Commandments:

1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out. (This is probably the most enigmatic of my commandments.)
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.

So how do you come up with your own list?

Consider phrases that have stuck with you.
When I look at my Twelve Commandments, I realize that five of them are actually quotations from other people. My father repeatedly reminds me to “Enjoy the process.” A respected boss told me to “Be polite and be fair.” A good friend told me that she’d decided that “There is only love” in her heart for a difficult person. “No calculation” is a paraphrase of my spiritual master St. Therese (“When one loves, one does not calculate”), and “Act the way I want to feel” is a paraphrase of William James.

Aim high and fight the urge to be too comprehensive.
I’ve found that my commandments help me most when I review them at least daily, to keep them fresh in my mind, and to do this, it helps to keep the list short and snappy. I suspect that Twelve Commandments is too much. Maybe I only need two, “Be Gretchen” and “There is only love.”

Think about what’s true for you.
Each person’s list will differ. One person’s commandment is to “Say yes,” another person’s commandment is to “Say no.” You need to think about yourself, your values, your strengths and weaknesses, your interests.

I’ve written about commandments in the past, and it’s fascinating to read other people’s commandments. For instance:

Do stuff.
Talk to strangers.
Stay in touch.
Make haste to be kind.
Dig deep.
Less is more.
Smaller.

Have you identified some of your own personal commandments? What are they? Please consider posting them. It’s so interesting to see what other people identify.

Verander je gedachten voor meer geluk

Het hebben van (veelvuldige) negatieve gedachten is de grootste barrière voor geluk en succes. Hoe je naar het leven en jezelf kijkt wordt beperkt en bepaald door de ‘emotionele kooi’ waarin je jezelf gevangen houdt. In dit artikel, dat op marcandangel.com staat, worden 9 signalen genoemd die aangeven wanneer het tijd wordt om je mindset (en je gedachten dus) te veranderen. 

9 Signs it’s Time to Change Your Mindset

It is ultimately only our own thoughts that help us or hurt us. Once our mindset changes, everything on the outside gradually changes along with it.

“There’s a brilliant, beautiful, priceless piece of art in front of you!  It’s elaborate and detailed – a painstaking labor of love and devotion!  The colors and textures are like no other – they soar and dip, they shine and leap right off the canvas!  And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the tiny, black housefly that has landed on it.  Why would you do such a thing?”

She cracked a half smile and stared at me in silence.

“Look,” I said, “the point is there’s no way to be 100% sure about anything or anyone in this world.  Life, like art, is intricate and unpredictable.  So you’re left with a choice: either appreciate it and look for the best, or focus on and expect the worst.”

If you expect the worst, you’re never disappointed,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but who lives like that?” I replied.  “No one.  People die slowly every day like that, without every truly living.”

That’s the gist of a Skype conversation I had this morning with a new course/coaching student (I’m sharing this with her permission).  She literally started the conversation by telling me that expecting negative things to happen is her way of coping with life.  If you can relate in any way at all, it’s time to rethink things.

And make no mistake about it, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled by the words or actions of others; it isn’t fueled by what did or didn’t happen in the past; it’s fueled by your mind that gives negativity importance.

Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to happiness and success.  Your perspective on life comes from the inner emotional cage you’ve been holding yourself captive in.

Here are some clear signs it’s time to change your mindset:

1.  You see nothing but negatives.

If you were determined to get joy out of the present moment, you would learn to focus on the positive.  What it takes is not paying attention to negative thoughts – yours or anyone else’s.  Disregarding negative thoughts isn’t about burying your head in the sand; it’s the focused act of not allowing negativity to fog your vision and dominate your experience of the present.

This moment is never enhanced or helped in any way by negativity, even though we as human beings are programmed to think our negative thoughts, worries and fears serve some beneficial function.  When we deeply examine a negative thought we see that negativity doesn’t serve any benefit.  Focusing on negativity doesn’t make anyone a better person, nor does doing so help us make any bit of progress.  In fact, the truth is quite the opposite.

2.  You are relentlessly resisting the truth.

Watch your self-talk.  See if you can catch yourself consciously or subconsciously complaining about your present life situation, what other people have said or done, your past, your surroundings, or even the weather.  To complain is always non-acceptance of reality.  It invariably carries with it a tremendous amount of negativity and stress.

When you complain, you transform yourself into a victim.  When you proactively take positive action, on the other hand, you are in power.  So if something is truly bothering you, change your situation by taking action, or consciously let it go – leave the situation or accept it.  All else is foolishness.

Remind yourself, again and again if you must, when something cannot be changed you must change your attitude about it.  After you have done what you can do, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with ‘what is,’ rather than wishing for and worrying about ‘what is not.’  ‘What is’ is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be.  The rest is just you, arguing with life.  (Read The Power of Now.)

3.  You have a tendency to blame others.

Letting go gives us emotional freedom, and emotional freedom is the only condition for happiness.  If, in your heart, you still cling to anything – anger, resentment, jealously, etc. – you cannot be free.  And doing so doesn’t change the heart of other people – it only changes yours.  Know this.

Put down the sword and stop attacking others in your head.  The strong person is not the best fighter.  Rather, the strong person is the one who controls herself when she is angry, and grows from it.

4.  You are passionately worried about everything.

Worrying does nothing but steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.  It’s like using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  You need to stop getting yourself into situations in your head where all your options are potentially bad.

Remember, it’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.  There are always two ways to address your present situation.  Each way is like a brick, which can be used as a stepping-stone, or which can be picked up in a worried frenzy and used to shatter your window of hope and happiness.

The bottom line is that everything on the outside doesn’t need to be perfect or make sense right now.  Stop worrying, focus within, and be mindful.  In your mind you can go anywhere you imagine.  And where your mind consistently goes, the rest of your life will gradually follow.

5.  Your expectations are stressing you out.

Drop the needless expectations.  Appreciate ‘what is’ for a moment.  It doesn’t matter if your glass is half empty or half full.  Just be thankful that you have a glass and that there’s something in it.  Choosing to be positive and having an appreciative attitude influences everything you do.  The magnitude of your happiness and success will be directly proportional to the magnitude of your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.

Nothing ever works out exactly the way you want it to.  Hope for the best, but expect less.  Appreciate reality, don’t fight it.  Don’t let what you expected to happen blind you from the goodness happening all around.  Even if it doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.

6.  You secretly want a pain free life.

Pain is a pesky part of being human, but it’s vitally important.  It strengthens the mind, heart and body.  You can’t grow strong, brave, or successful in this world if you’ve only had good things happen to you within the safe boundaries of your own little comfort bubble.  You need real life experiences, and nothing ever becomes real until you experience it firsthand.

Honestly, life is very much like a game of chess.  To win you have to make a move, even when it’s tough and things before didn’t go exactly as planned.  Knowing which move to make comes with insight and knowledge, by learning the unexpected and often painful lessons that are accumulated along the way.

7.  You’re never satisfied with what you have.

Our stress and frustration is far greater when we have more than enough but want even more, than when we have almost nothing and want some.  In other words, as human beings we are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we endlessly seem to lack but one continuously changing thing.

Details aside, the key is to want less and appreciate more.

A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.  Ask yourself: “Are these things truly better than the things I already have?  Or am I just conditioned to be unhappy with what I have?”

In the end, happiness is an attitude of gratitude we act upon daily.  We either make the best of the present or the worst of it.  We either make ourselves miserable or happier and stronger.  The amount of effort is the same.

8.  It’s been awhile since you learned something new.

The best remedy for being sad or feeling stuck is learning something new.  That’s the only thing that never fails – simply making progress and knowing it.

Your body may grow old and frail, you may lie awake some nights listening to your past regrets, you may miss your only love, you may see the world around you overcome by toxic behaviors, or know your respect has been trampled on by unfriendly faces.  There is only one thing for healing that works every time – to learn.  Learn why the world around you zigs and zags and what fuels it.  Learn what excites you and learn more about it.  That’s the only positive effort that a battered mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or doubt, and never dream of regretting.

Learning is healing.  Just look at all the things there are to learn, and get started.

9.  You catch yourself living in the past.

Nostalgia is a good and necessary state of mind sometimes.  It’s a way for all of us to find lessons in every life experience, and peace in all which we have accomplished, or even failed to accomplish.  At the same time though, if nostalgia precipitates intentions and actions to return to that fabled, rosy-painted past time, particularly in someone who believes her present life to be inadequate, then it’s an empty state of mind, doomed to produce nothing more than frustration and an even greater sense of unhappiness.

Don’t let the past steal your present.  Your past has not defined, deterred, or defeated you.  It has only strengthened who you are today.  Keep this in mind and press onward.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

Afterthoughts

An effective mindset is one that makes the best use of available resources – your time, energy and efforts – and uses them to create positive change.  It’s not about trying to do everything and be everything; it’s making the very best of what you have while enjoying the process of living.

Your mindset is the underpinning and cornerstone for everything that happens in your life.  It’s a collection of all your beliefs, behaviors, feelings, emotions and attitudes.

As you work to adjust your mindset, here’s what you can expect from striking the right balance:

  • A sense of firm faith, certainty and purpose
  • Consistent drive, focus and commitment to meaningful pursuits
  • Clear insight into present obstacles and opportunities
  • A feeling of peace and joy from making progress daily

Your turn…

What state of mind have you been in lately?  What changes would you like to make to your mindset and why?

Bron: Klik hier

Wat moet je doen om ècht gelukkig te zijn

Veel mensen vragen zich af hoe ze (nog) gelukkiger kunnen worden. Volgens een artikel op Lifehack.org is geluk niet iets dat je zomaar overkomt, maar dat gelukkig zijn iets is dat je kunt leren. Dit vraagt dan wel dat je hier actief aan werkt en hangt er voor een groot deel ook van af hoe je naar de wereld en jezelf kijkt. Gelukkig zijn is volgens hen een keuze. En een verstandige keuze, aangezien recent onderzoek aantoont dat gelukkige mensen 35% minder vaak vroegtijdig overlijden dan de minder gelukkigen onder ons. Hieronder volgen maar lieft 26 dingen die je juist niet moet doen om gelukkig te worden.

26 Things To Remember If You Want To Be Truly Happy

If you’ve asked yourself how to become a happier person, this is already a very good sign. Happiness is not something that happens to us by chance. Being happy is an achievable and learnable skill, which requires constant work on your attitude and depends on how you interpret your life situation. Happiness is largely a matter of choice. And it is probably the smartest life choice you can make. Recent studies show that happy people are 35% less likely to die early than unhappy ones!

So, what do you need to remember if you want to be truly happy?

1. Never dwell on the past

“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” – Unknown

Your past is just a story. Everyone has a past – often full of pain, disappointment, missed opportunities, and unfulfilled expectations. No matter what your past looks like, it’s just a story – so don’t let it influence you. Make the present meaningful.

2. Never focus on what’s missing; look at what you actually have.

 “Happiness is not having what you want. It is appreciating what you have.”- Unknown

Be grateful for what you have. You could waste hours counting the things you would like to improve, which would only take you away from appreciating your real life. Gratitude puts situations into perspective and rewires your mind toward a positive direction.

3. Never underestimate quality time with yourself.

 “Focus on loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” – Unknown

Don’t confuse happiness with excitement; a lasting joy of life grows when your mind is in peace. Making time for yourself is as important as devoting time to your everyday duties. Regular meditation, sport, contact with nature, and quality (offline) time spent reading will help you reconnect with yourself and hear your intuition again.

4. Never stop improving yourself.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever”. – Mahatma Gandhi

We are all different, and there is no perfect direction or path to our personal evolution. The whole point is to become the best version of YOU, and never stop taking lessons from your own life experiences.

5. Never be too harsh on yourself.

“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.“ – Unknown

Many of us are our own hardest critics, constantly diminishing every success. Accept that you will never be ideal – and see this as okay. In the process of self-development, embracing your own vulnerabilities has been scientifically proven to be a key component of happiness.

6. Never lose a sense of purpose in what you are doing.

“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” – Unknown

Your time and life power are limited, so spend them wisely and target your energy towards something meaningful. Finding a purpose helps you live a bigger life.

7. Never treat your body badly.

“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” – Buddha

A truly happy soul can only live in a healthy body. Your body will “send you a bill” for the trash you’ve eaten, the sports classes you’ve skipped, your long nights of partying, and your long hours of stressful work. Treat your body as your biggest investment; it will have to serve you your entire life.

8. Never value material things more than experiences.

“Your actions are your only true belongings.” – Allan Lokos

Experiences bring people more happiness than possessions, which never keep you satisfied. Experiences will last in your head forever, nourish your mind, and become a memory which will light up your face with a smile on a bad day.

9. Never compare yourself to other people.

“True happiness is when you are living your life without waiting for anyone’s approval.”- Unknown

Everyone lives life at a different pace, which makes us each special and beautiful. The sooner you embrace your uniqueness and the differences between you and other people, the happier you will be. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you really are without trying to change you or reframe you.

10. Never let your bad thoughts grow.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts” – Marcus Aurelius

Being judgmental, jealous, or angry will at some point turn against you. A bad thought can trigger bad speech, just as bad words provoke bad actions. Don’t let your mind initiate anything you’d be ashamed of later.

11. Never fear to embrace change.

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”- Unknown

As you accept the laws which change our life, our bodies, and the way we evolve, you will see the unique beauty of every moment in life with all its natural flow. Be open to new opportunities and humbly accept changes you can’t influence.

12. Never blame others for your own failures.

“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.” – Unknown

Be responsible for your actions and their outcomes. Taking responsibility gives you a sense of power over your life; blaming your life on circumstances can make you feel powerless.

13. Never tame your curiosity.

“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” – Fay Weldom

Be curious and ask a lot of questions. Travel, observe, read, watch, and talk with smart people to open your mind and explore the world. Inquisitive thinking and a passion for exploring will nourish your mind.

14. Never stop being mindful.

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect” – Unknown

Learn to mindfully observe, smell, hear, and fully appreciate every minute of your life. Those who can’t conscientiously notice and appreciate the present moment aren’t able to be fully happy.

15. Never forget about your loved ones.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Care about those who are happy to see you succeed in life and support you in difficult times. Avoid harsh critiques and make sure these people know how glad you are that they’re a part of your life.

16. Never worry about the things you cannot influence.

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All is does it steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.”- Unknown

How many times has a situation you’ve worried about not come true? Worrying about things you can’t influence is a waste of time and makes you feel unnecessarily miserable.

17. Never attach happiness to something in the future.

“Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy.” – Anne Frank

Many people live like they’re waiting for something – to find a perfect love partner, to get promoted, or to retire with a good pension. Don’t postpone your happiness to a moment in the future; life is all about enjoying the journey.

18. Never stop meeting new people.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” – Joseph F Newton

Surrounding yourself with happy people makes you happier. Meeting new people nowadays is easy, due to open lifestyles, new technologies, internet forums, popular mobile apps. It would be a waste to not make the most of this opportunity. Even people who enter your life for a short time can teach you important lessons and make your life more colorful.

19. Never let your ego win.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.”- Pema Chodron

Acting with anger and following your insecurities can only complicate your life situation. Instead, act with compassion and humility towards others. Showing maturity will make your relations with others more joyful and fulfilling.

20. Never voluntary harm.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

Every choice you make, every word you say, and every purchase you make impacts someone’s life. Choose to be a good person.

21. Never stop living life to the fullest.

“Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.” – Unknown

Live intensely. Do what you want and enjoy it with all your senses. Start working on fulfilling your dreams as soon as possible. “Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.”

22. Never forget to smile.

“Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” – Unknown

You don’t know what the person in front of you is going through. Be kind to others and share your smiles and positive words. Isn’t it amazing to make someone’s day a little better in such a simple way?

23. Never be afraid to completely change your life.

“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” – Roman Price

It is never too late to completely change your life and make it more meaningful. Let your mind be free and surprise you from time to time.  Go with the flow and open yourself up to different possibilities.

24. Never be afraid of being alone.

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz

Don’t be afraid of being alone. Happiness is internal, and you don’t need anyone or anything to be happy. Learn to have fun on your own: walk, travel, eat good food, etc. Being alone doesn’t mean to you have to be lonely. Look at monks for example – being happy in solitude is a virtue.

25. Never stop organizing your own happiness.

“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” – Richard Kline

Happiness appears where dreams meet preparation. Make a conscious everyday effort to shape yourself and your life the way you want.

26. Never stop loving.

“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” – Thaddeus Golas

True love doesn’t lose value over time; it multiplies and comes back to you the more you give it away. The meaning of our whole existence would be much simpler if love meant only romantic love. Love everyone who you think deserves and needs your love. Love the Earth and the people who have helped you become who you are. Love your own life.

Bron: Klik hier

Loop jezelf gelukkig …

We weten dat door te (glim)lachen, ook al voel je je op dat moment niet eens zo gelukkig, je hersenen toch een seintje krijgen om gelukshormonen aan te maken. En dat je je hierdoor vanzelf gelukkig(er) gaat voelen. Uit onderzoek, dat op de site MindBodyGreen.com staat, blijkt dat hetzelfde geldt voor de manier waarop je loopt. Dus, huppel, zwaai met je armen en voel je gelukkig 😉

Want To Be Happy? Walk Like A Happy Person

You’ve heard that forcing yourself to smile can improve your mood. Well, a new study published online in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry shows that walking in a happy manner can make you happier, too.

Researchers showed 39 undergraduates words associated with happiness (such as pretty) and words associated with depression (such as anxious).

They then were asked to start walking on a treadmill. A screen showed the subjects a gauge that moved left or right depending on whether their walking style was more depressed or happier, but the subjects didn’t know what the gauge was measuring; they were just told to get it to move either to the right or to the left.

Unknowingly, the participants changed their walking patterns on a to either reflect the characteristics of depressed patients, with poorer posture and little to no arm-swinging, or a happy walking style, with an upright posture and swinging arms.

Afterwards, the subjects were asked to write down as many of the words they were shown as they could remember. Those who walked in a slumped over, depressed manner were able to recall fewer of the positive words and more of the negative words than had those who had walked with a pep in their step. From this, the authors concluded that a person’s style of walking affects his or her vulnerability to depression.

In other words, dragging your feet along in protest of a crappy morning will only worsen your mood. Instead, fake it ‘til you make it. Force yourself to smile and keep your head up — and you may find yourself doing it naturally.

Bron: Klik hier

Foto: Klik hier

10 Dingen die gelukkige mensen (anders) doen

Vaak denken we dat het winnen van de loterij ons gelukkig zal maken. Of dat ons persoonlijke geluk afhankelijk is van het hebben van een (natuurlijk ideale) partner. Maar niets blijkt minder waar te zijn. Gelukkig zijn en je gelukkig voelen heeft er vooral mee te maken hoe je naar het leven kijkt en de gedachten die je hierover hebt. Op de site TrackandHack.com staat een lijst, die werd opgesteld door Scott Christ, van 10 dingen die gelukkige mensen anders doen dan mensen die minder gelukkig zijn.

1. Gelukkige mensen hebben balans in hun leven.

Gelukkige mensen zijn blij met wat ze hebben en verspillen geen tijd door zich zorgen te maken of te stressen over zaken die ze niet hebben. Ongelukkige mensen doen het tegenovergestelde. Ze zijn te druk bezig met stressen over dingen die ze niet hebben en vergeten daardoor wat ze wel hebben. Het leven van gelukkige mensen is altijd in balans. Hierdoor maken ze tijd voor dingen die voor hun belangrijk zijn in het leven, zoals familie, gezondheid, carrière, religie etc.

2. Gelukkige mensen zijn respectvol.

Als kind werd het misschien wel vaak tegen je gezegd, iets als: “Behandel anderen zoals je zelf ook behandeld wilt worden.” Gelukkige mensen omarmen dit principe. Ze behandelen iedereen met respect en houden rekening met de mensen om hen heen. Ze hebben dan ook een goed inlevingsvermogen. Doordat gelukkige mensen zich zo opstellen worden ze vaak ook goed behandeld.

3. Gelukkige mensen liggen niet wakker van kleine dingen.

Eén van de grootste verschillen tussen gelukkige en ongelukkige mensen is dat gelukkige mensen beter dingen los kunnen laten. Ook gelukkige mensen krijgen te maken met vervelende situaties. Ze ondergaan de situatie, geven het een plekje en gaan door. Ongelukkige mensen blijven vaak hangen in de vervelende situatie met verdriet, boosheid, schuldgevoelens of afgunst als gevolg.

4. Gelukkige mensen nemen verantwoordelijkheid.

Gelukkige mensen zijn niet perfect en daar zijn ze zich bewust van. Als ze een fout maken dan zullen ze dat ook toegeven en er niet omheen draaien. Ze herkennen hun fouten en proberen er van te leren. Ongelukkige mensen geven snel anderen de schuld en zoeken altijd een excuus waarom dingen niet gaan zoals zij dat willen.

5. Gelukkige mensen gaan om met andere gelukkige mensen.

Een ander punt wat gelukkige mensen met elkaar gemeen hebben, is dat ze zich omringen met andere gelukkige mensen. Ongelukkige mensen delen hun leed en nemen zo elkaar mee omlaag in hun negatieve emoties met depressies, boosheid, verdriet en veel zorgen als gevolg. Bij gelukkige mensen werkt het effect juist positief. Zorg dus dat je meer omgaat met de positieve en gelukkige familieleden en vrienden in je omgeving. Je zult merken dat de positiviteit aanstekelijk werkt.

6. Gelukkige mensen zijn eerlijk naar zichzelf en anderen.

Mensen die gelukkig zijn vaak eerlijk en betrouwbaar. Ze zullen je niet snel een mooiere waarheid voorhouden dan het daadwerkelijk is, zelfs wanneer de waarheid hard en pijnlijk is. Ze verwachten ook hetzelfde terug. Gelukkige mensen respecteren eerlijke mensen.

7. Gelukkige mensen laten zien dat ze gelukkig zijn.

Dat lijkt vanzelfsprekend, maar kijk maar eens in je eigen omgeving. De kans is groot dat de gelukkige personen in je omgeving vaker lachen en geluk uitstralen. Ongelukkige mensen daarentegen lachen minder en hun lichaamstaal is vaak slonzig en straalt geen zekerheid uit.

8. Gelukkige mensen zijn gepassioneerd.

Als gelukkige mensen iets gevonden hebben wat ze leuk vinden, dan gaan ze daar voor de volle 100% voor. Ze vullen hun tijd met dingen die leuk vinden. Het zijn niet voor niets gelukkige mensen die hun werk niet zien als werk.

9. Gelukkige mensen zien obstakels als uitdagingen.

Personen die gelukkig zijn en zich ook zo voelen accepteren het als iets tegen zit of als er obstakels zijn. Ze zien deze tegenslagen als kansen en uitdagingen om te leren en te groeien. Ze draaien het negatieve naar het positieve en halen het beste naar boven bij negatieve situaties. Gelukkige mensen laten zich niet tegenhouden door dingen waar ze niks aan kunnen veranderen. Ze denken slechts in oplossingen en creatieve manieren om de obstakels tegen te gaan.

10. Gelukkige mensen leven in het nu.

Het laatste ding dat gelukkige mensen anders doen is het leven in het heden. Ongelukkige mensen maken zich vaak zorgen over de toekomst of het verleden. Gelukkige mensen daarentegen zijn dankbaar en focussen zich op het leven in het ‘hier en nu’. Dus als je je graag wat gelukkiger wilt voelen in je leven, denk dan eens aan de bovenstaande 10 punten en bekijk hoe je ze kan gebruiken om jezelf te verbeteren.

Bron: Klik hier

Inspirerend filmpje over advies van vrouwen aan hun jongere zelf

Op een van mijn favoriete video sites ‘omeleto.com’ staat een filmpje over vrouwen die advies geven aan hun jongere zelf. De aanleiding van dit filmpje is een eerder onderzoek onder vrouwen over hun levensstijl. Ongeveer de helft van de ondervraagde vrouwen gaf aan zich gestressed tot zeer gestressed te voelen en 40% gaf zelfs aan tegen een burn-out aan te zitten. Aanleiding van dit alles zijn onze eindeloze to-do lists en het streven om in alles perfect te willen zijn. Daarom erg mooi om dit pleidooi te zien om meer te relaxen en ‘to let go’ … een mooi recept voor geluk! Neem het ter harte 😉